Goodbye, My Soul
by Raine Ishida
Summary: Jim receives an unwelcome message one rainy day about a certain cyborg. Dark and angsty, as per a usual Jim Hawkins.


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Goodbye, My Soul

Author's Warning: This fic is a little darker than I had anticipated, but…I like the outcome. There's not much of an ending to it and no original characters! Wow, go me! By the way, it was written in about ten minutes while trying to burn off my Writer's Block (it didn't work, but hey, new story…), and I don't feel like re-reading it to proofread. Wow, how professional I am. 

In this story, the Academy is on Montressor. It wasn't originally, but I figure…it will be for this one. Don't argue with me because I'm not going to change my mind (Learned that one from a coworker ^_^).

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"A brave pirate went down fighting earlier this week as he was captured by police. He was later identified as Captain Long John Silver, a notorious pirate with many felonies against his name involving thievery and murder. After much discussion and many hours in court, the jury decided it was time to put an end to the life of the brave thief. The pirate, who bore a large cybernetic arm and half of a head, said nothing as he was led off to the execution chamber later this afternoon. No one has claimed themselves as the late pirate's relative nor friend, and police are figuring either shame or pride is keeping them from doing so if any still exist."

Tears burned in the corners of Jim's eyes as he set the newspaper down. Silently, rage began to swim through his vision and his burning eyes caused blindness as he realized he could see nothing. How _dare _they say such things about his best friend! The only one he'd ever looked up to was dead. The only one he had trusted, the only one… Jim said nothing and stood from where he'd been seated at the table in the cafeteria of the Interstellar Academy.

His expression was completely blank as he walked through he hallway towards the exit. He didn't know where he was going, nor how he was going to get there. He just knew he needed to leave.

A friend from his aviating class caught up to him. "Hey, Jim! You wanna go to the arcade after school? They have virtual solar surfing!" 

Jim didn't even acknowledge his friend's presence and kept walking.

Silver was dead. He had been executed.

A lone tear left a wet trail on the side of Jim's pale cheek.

Jim's friend stopped walking and shook his head. There was no getting at Jim when he was upset…so he let Jim keep going.

Jim crossed the front lawn and kept going through the campus until he hit the town. As he walked down the cement sidewalks, he didn't even see the stares from confused civilians as they studied him.

He was a student from the Academy. Why was he not in school? And why was he crying?

Jim saw nothing but blackness as he walked. His heart felt heavy and he didn't feel the need to breathe.

Silver was dead.

The sky above was clouding over and the sun was beginning to disappear as gray wisps covered its brilliance.

The air turned cold and Jim kept walking. He kept walking even as the rain began to fall.

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Let the rain fall down 

And wake my dreams 

He walked to the water's edge at the harbor. There was no need to boat in this water, but there were still a few boats here and there for recreational purposes. 

Standing on the dock, Jim looked into the water which was black. Like his heart.

The water was smooth as glass as he stared into it, wondering what would happen if he just…jumped in and didn't kick his legs. Would he drown? Would that take away the pain?

Nothing would stop the painful revelation that Silver was dead.

The glasslike surface was disturbed by a drop of water. A tear from his eye? No. A raindrop.

It was starting to rain.

Jim looked to the sky and felt raindrops on his face. He searched the clouds, hoping to see the silhouette of his best friend's face like that night he'd been accepted to the Academy…the night of the party. 

So many things had happened since Treasure Planet…and Silver was just supposed to go to prison.

Just to prison…not to death. And now he was dead. There was no bringing him back.

Jim felt no more tears falling. He was getting soaked by the rain.

He didn't feel the cold, either.

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Let it wash away 

My sanity 

He wanted to lose his sanity. He wanted to yell and scream and thrash like a madman to loose his anger from its stronghold within his mind.

Jim felt nothing. Silver was dead.

His black heart was stilled not by the cold, nor the pain that was now a dull ache. What was his reason for living? Was his sanity truly slipping away as the rain washed over him? Staring into the blackness of the lake, Jim wondered. _What if…_

'Cause I wanna feel the thunder 

I wanna scream 

Falling to his knees, Jim broke. He broke for Silver's lost soul, for the soul of his best friend and mentor. Even a pirate didn't deserve to die. Silver had received unfair judgment.

_"He was a murderer,"_ a voice within Jim told him. Jim shook his head. "He was a good man." A sob escaped the muddled teenager. "He was my mentor."

_"He stole from innocent people. From women and children. He was a pirate, Hawkins."_

Jim shook his head again, putting his hands over his ears. "He was a good teacher. I learned a lot from him…he taught me so much…"

"He deserved to die," the voice said. Jim screamed in fury. 

Let the rain fall down 

I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean 

Sarah said nothing as she ran down the bank to her son. She said nothing as she watched him fall to his knees and yell. She watched and said nothing as she saw him cover his ears and scream. Both of them were soaking wet. And Sarah wasn't crying.

She knelt next to her son, knowing full well the reason behind his pain.

She wrapped her arms around him and said nothing. Jim accepted her comfort and found a place for his head on her shoulder, sobbing into it.

"Mom, he didn't deserve it, he didn't…"  
Sarah, absorbed in the love for her son, still said nothing.

"He didn't," Jim sobbed, clenching his fists and beating his thighs.

Sarah stroked her son's wet hair. "Let's go home," she whispered, taking his hands and helping him to his feet.

Jim stood without a fight and wiped his face.

"He didn't," Jim repeated quietly. Sarah nodded and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Let's go, honey."

She took him home in silence.

That night, and many nights following, Sarah was haunted by the screams of her son as he battled his nightmares. She knew nothing of his pain nor of his torment, but whenever he screamed, she would go to him and shush away all of his fear. 

It was the only thing she could do to ease his suffering.

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Almost forgot. Song is "Coming Clean" by Hilary Duff. I know, not much of a 'dramatic' song, but the lyrics are awesome.


End file.
